Tuesday, October 13, 2009

At a Crossroad



I am taking a great online course about being an online artist, by the wonderful Marisa Anne of Creative Thursday fame.  And while I have struggled to keep on top of the weekly lessons and responses (it started right before we went on vacation, so there was some catch up involved), she has also left me with much to ponder. Recently, Max has had some reactions that I think are due to artificial colors (discovered this on vacation, since we really don't have any foods around here anymore that aren't all natural), so we are trying the Feingold diet as well, and I've been trying to get the kids more motivated about the OT exercises, and thus I've produced very little in the way of art. Most nights, I end up falling asleep with the kids or catching up on Project Runway. It's been a tug of war lately - should I even try to make a go of it right now? The kids need so much, with diets and therapies, that I feel guilty. And overwhelmed. Then the next day I get something done (like two entries sent off to Somerset - yeah for me) and make elaborate plans in my head, that never seem to get realized right now. It's a constant back and forth.

So that's where I stand - exactly nowhere. I feel like Alice. I have gone down the rabbit hole, but no matter which way I walk, I end up back at the mushroom.

3 comments:

  1. I am in Marisa's class too. I'm loving it, and I too, am lagging about a week behind. It has given me so much food for thought—mostly about balance, my path and the next right step. I can so relate to this post—thank you so much for sharing it.

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  2. Hi - I was a fishie too! I have left a comment on Marisa's final video response that is about exactly this - I had a lightbulb moment and realised that I could just take what suited me right at this moment from the class (I am lagging 3 weeks behind!) but i'm going to stop feeling guilty and like I failed and just keep moving in the general direction - I am sure it will all come together for us at the right time and if we try and enjoy the process with its ups and downs we can 'have it all' too! Sorry - that all sounds a bit pollyanna but the realisation made me feel so good I just wanted to share the buzz! Good luck I am sure you'll find your own perfect answer for you and your family soon - sorry for the full scale essay :) Emily

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  3. Another fellow fishie here, and yes, I've been thinking a lot about how I can make some space for my art even when there seems to be no time... Even if it's just five minutes a day, flicking through my sketches, to stay connected. Sorry you are feeling overwhelmed, and hope the situation with diets and therapies settles in some. Take care!

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